Category: Satire (Page 1 of 7)

Republicans Promise Smooth Transition of Hate from Obama to Clinton

10380918_10153176382160681_4177747529413147959_n[1]WASHINGTON – Republicans today promised that there will be a “seamless transition of hatred” if President Obama is succeeded in office by Hillary Clinton. “Like many Americans, we will be saddened to see our lawsuits, investigations, and general harassment directed towards President Obama come to an end,” said House Speaker Paul Ryan. “But we want to reassure everyone that we are very much up to the challenge of transferring our hatred to a President Clinton.” Ryan promised the American people that the tormenting of the new Democratic President would begin on her first day in office. “The fact that we began this process while she was still Secretary of State will really enable us to hit the ground running,” he said.

From an original post by Andy Borowitz

Show Me The Money…Or Not

 clayjonz writes

Show Me The Money…Or Not

Trump released a bunch of names of people he’d consider for the Supreme Court. Little premature, right? This is a move to show the base he is a conservative and not trying to put his liberal sister on the court as each pick is anti-women, anti-LGBT, anti-voting, anti-civil rights, etc. This might help with finally getting that Paul Ryan endorsement. Also, each one of these individuals is very white.

Trump’s wife Melania issued a statement that Donald is not Hitler. Really? The best defense of the guy, from his wife, is that he’s NOT Hitler? Gee, it sucks being married to this person but hey, they’re not Hitler. They should put that underneath the slogan on the cap. “Make America Great Again. Also, not Hitler.”

Since none of this news was creepy enough, Trump’s daughter Ivanka spoke to the press and assures us that her dad is “not a groper.” This from the woman whose father said he’d be dating her if she wasn’t his daughter. Seriously? Your kid is talking about your sex life? It seems if you were a groper that you wouldn’t conduct yourself that way around your child. Hey, he’s gotta respect women because he made his daughter head of his company.

Finally we come to Trump’s taxes. The guy still won’t release them. He says he can’t because he’s being audited. Yes he can. The audit doesn’t stop that. He released a financial report to show us that yes, he really is rich. That doesn’t show how he made his money, where his money comes from, who he’s in bed with, or how much he gives to taxes.

Trump’s surrogates who are not sleeping with him, that means they’re not his wife or daughter (glad they’re not the same person so he has that going for him), tell us how much the Trump charity gives to worthy causes. The thing is, that’s not Trump’s money. That’s other people’s money.

If you look into Trump’s business history he has a habit of having other people finance his projects and then they go belly up. Now he’s asking people to contribute to his campaign. I’m sure that’ll be as successful as one of his Atlantic City casinos. More of a gamble too.

To sum up: Trump. Still rich. Wants to pal with Kim Jong Un and compliment him on shooting family members. Very conservative. Being advised by Kissinger. Not a gropey Hitler.

« Older posts

© 2024 Madison County Democratic Committee

Website by Ren LeVallyUp ↑

We are in the fight of a generation.
We are in the fight for a generation.

Our strength lies in both our numbers and the level of involvement of our members.

Please consider joining us as a voting member https://madisondems.org/about-us/join-the-mcdc/

 

2023 Founders Dinner - I'm a Democrat