Republicans Promise Smooth Transition of Hate from Obama to Clinton

By Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON – Republicans today promised that there will be a “seamless transition of hatred” if President Obama is succeeded in office by Hillary Clinton. “Like many Americans, we will be saddened to see our lawsuits, investigations, and general harassment directed towards President Obama come to an end,” said House Speaker John Boehner. “But we want to reassure everyone that we are very much up to the challenge of transferring our hatred to a President Clinton.” Boehner promised the American people that the tormenting of the new Democratic President would begin on her first day in office. “The fact that we began this process while she was still Secretary of State will really enable us to hit the ground running,” he said.